A Time Before War
by Hooty-McBoon
Summary: A fic set before Robin goes to war. Loads of Robin Marian scenes, showing how they grow closer. Genre change because of chapter 4, Angst. Complete
1. Chapter 1: When you were young

A collection of stories set before Robin goes off to fight in the Holy war. And perhaps some after. Most of this is going to be AU, just bare with me. Loads of Robin and Marian fluff.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just the crazy imaginings of my brain.

**A time before war**

**Chapter 1: When you were young.**

The seven-year-old girl sat with her head resting on her knees, she was leaning against a tree her eyes full of tears. They slipped down her cheeks. Her father had been looking for her and was getting worried.

"Why did you run away?" the male voice above her head caused her to look up sharply, apparently he hadn't know she'd been crying and was taken aback by the sight of tears streaming down her face; "Are you ok?" he asked taking a seat beside her.

She sighed but did not answer him, she sniffed a couple of times before looking at him; "R…Robin," she mumbled his name, his eyes were still studying her and he nodded slightly for her to continue; "I…I…" she paused again, and the boy knew that he wasn't going to find out what happened from her.

"Your father is looking for you Marian." He told her, he was giving her a way out. She gave him a watery smile, grateful that he would be so considerate. She got to her feet and dusted off her dress, she waited for Robin to follow, the ten-year-old did so without hesitation. He smiled at her. It was a warm smile reserved for friends and family. He and Marian had known each other for years, friends for life.

"Your father is strict." Robin commented in an offhand fashion, Marian stopped to look at him, her blue eyes red and slightly puffy.

A small smile graced her lips; "He needs to be, with such an unruly child as me." Robin laughed out loud and placed an arm around her shoulders.

"Unruly?" he did not believe her; "You don't know the meaning of the word." He mocked her. She raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head; "You're ok now?" he asked his tone suddenly serious; he did not like to see her miserable. She nodded weakly as her eyes clouded with emotion, he noticed and pulled her to him again; "Whatever it is, Little one," he paused; "I'm here." Little one was a nickname that he'd given her when she was only five. She pushed him away and in an unladylike fashion wiped her eyes and nose with the sleeve of her dress.

"Don't call me that." She complained laughing slightly.

He smiled; "You are _little_ though." Was his retort.

She glared at him; "You're three years older than me, I'd be worried if I were taller than you." He smirked slightly and she knew that she'd won.

He smirked again and watched her; "You haven't an unruly bone in your body lady Marian."

She laughed; "You should have thought of that earlier." She told him with a grin. He smiled knowing again that she was right. He hadn't out grown bickering with her but he knew when he was beaten. They walked on letting the silence hang between them. They would find as they grew up that those silences would not be nearly as comfortable for either of them.

"MARIAN!" her father's bellowing voice caused Marian to jump slightly, Robin's hand reached out to her, he placed it on her back; "Where have you been child?" he asked her, concern colouring his voice.

She looked up at him, her thick lashes hiding her puffy eyes; "I…I…went-" Robin cut in.

"We went for a walk." Edward looked down at the boy before him.

He glanced at his daughter; "You, went…together?" he asked, Robin noticed a small smile grace Edward's lips, he was not aware of the reason why.

Edward's smile was because of an agreement that he had made with Robin's father when his wife had told him that she were pregnant. He remembered the two-year-old Robin rushing around his Father's feet, a promise that if the child were a girl they would be married. He knew now that Robin's affection for his daughter would mean that he would not have to go back on his promise.

**-Five years into their future-**

They had grown, him more than her. She was sat on her bed shoulder length hair tickling her shoulders and chin, at twelve-years-old she was beautiful; there was no doubt about that. Her milky white skin and light blue eyes was enough to win over any man. A shuffling noise by her window caused her to look up alarmed; "Robin." She smiled to herself as she breathed his name.

"Lady Marian." He said as his feet landed in her room; "Why have you been hiding away?" he asked a cheeky grin spread over his face it reached his eyes.

"There is a door you know." She muttered dryly.

He grinned again and moved a little closer; "Yes, but I find climbing through your window more exciting, as I'm sure you do too." Was his reply.

"Where is Much?" she asked, Robin scowled.

"Why do want to know?" he asked suspiciously.

She rolled her eyes; "Well he acts like your little lap dog, I'm merely surprised that he let you venture out of his site." Her words were bitter they stung.

"Is something the matter?" he asked now worried that he had done something to offend her.

She shook her head and placed a hand over her eyes; "I am fine." She looked up at him and smiled weakly; "You should probably go." She muttered.

He did not want to go, he liked spending time with her, when he was with her there was a feeling of completion within him; "Do I have to?" he almost whined.

She looked up at him again and got to her feet, Robin felt his heart beat a little faster; "Unless there was something that you wanted, yes, you do." She told him giving him a prod in the chest for good measure.

He couldn't hide the smile that lit up his face, he caught the hand that she had prodded him with and pulled her closer, her breath hitched in her throat, another smart retort had been planned but it failed to surface. He was staring at her, there was something hanging between them; "Ro-Robin…" she stuttered looking into her eyes. She could see him hesitating, there was something that he wanted to do, to say to her, but he couldn't bring himself to it. He let her go.

"Sorry, I…" he took a step back, he couldn't understand what it was he was feeling. The intensity of it. Marian looked down at her feet, she felt a blush rise to her cheeks.

She quickly brushed an unruly strand of hair behind her ears; "There is nothing to apologise for." She told him as she also took a step backwards. There was something hanging in the air between them that neither of them could see.

"I, um…there was a reason for me jumping through your window." Robin said coughing to clear his throat and his mind, she nodded at him to continue; "I was wondering, if you would like to go for a walk with me?"

She smiled at him; "A walk," she paused looking him up and down; "with you?" she asked smirking slightly, Robin had left himself very open. She walked around him like a vulture inspecting it's prey; "I could do that." She said smiling, in truth she loved spending time with him, especially when they were alone together.

"Good, 'cause Much said-" he paused seeing a look burning in her eyes a rage smouldering just beneath the surface; "Marian?" he was worried, her face had gone red; "are you alright?" he asked.

She shook her head; disbelief crossing her face; "Much? Can you not go out by yourself? Does your father still insist that Much follow you around?" she asked angrily; "Surely you can look after yourself." She muttered bitterly.

He did not know what to say to her; "I was not aware that you felt this way, I thought you liked Much?" he asked taking a careful step towards her.

Marian nodded slowly; "I do, he talks too much, but I like him, I only wish…" she stopped herself, and blushed; "time with you, is short…" she paused and Robin took another step, they were so close now, Robin reached out for her.

"We are here, without Much, now." He whispered, she looked up into his eyes and was lost in them, the intensity of feelings that she saw there, was staggering. She wanted to say something, wanted to tell him how she was feeling, they both leant in when a loud knock on her door caused the two of them to draw apart quickly. Marian's eyes were wide she knew what had been about to happen, she opened her bedroom door.

"Father." She greeted him, her hands clasped behind her back, he smiled at her and then looked up at Robin, he was clearly amused.

"You don't like using the front door then?" he asked with a smile.

Robin looked at his shoes and smiled; "No sir." He answered.

Edward's gaze drifted from the teenage boy to his daughter's blushing cheeks, she smiled to himself; "I'll leave you two alone, but next time," he looked up at Robin again; "please use the door, it is nice to see you." He told him before turning away closing the door as he went. Certainly by the way that her father had looked at the pair, he was aware of what had been about to occur before he burst in.

Marian was suddenly all too aware of how close Robin was, she took a step away from him and looked away, she were but a girl, Robin was very nearly a man; "Maybe," he looked up at her upon the sound of her voice; "you should go." She said sadly, she did not want him to leave, but it seemed that her father had quite ruined the moment.

He began to protest; "I thought, we, we were going to go for a walk?" he suggested gently taking a step towards her. She shook her head sadly; he nodded knowing that he would not be able to persuade her; "I will see you tomorrow." It was not a question she nodded. He smiled and leant towards her placing a delicate kiss on her cheek, a flush rose to them and Marian fought the urge to cover her face with her hands.

She coughed; "Goodbye Robin." She whispered as she watched him climb onto the windowsill quite forgetting that he had promised Edward he would use the door from now on, she smiled as he slipped from view with a wave. She knew that he was more trouble than he was worth, but her heart was full of him, and there was no way she could get him out of her head, not of course that this bothered her. She liked that she could still smell him on the air, liked that he was in her thoughts every waking moment of the day. She did not however like the fact that he clearly thought he was in control of their relationship. That had to change.

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A/N: Yes so this is chapter 1 of my new Robin Hood fic. Yay. I hope that you like it. Review please, no flames thank you. 


	2. Chapter 2: Losing a father gaining a son

Most of this is going to be AU 'cause well I don't know how Robin's father died, in some representations he is killed but the BBC doesn't really care about that; (killing the Sheriff's sister when in fact she should be the cause of Robin's death). Blah blah rant.

Disclaimer: I don't own Robin Hood, BBC does. If I did Jonas would have his top off more. hehe.

Oh yes, and just so you know 2 years have past since chapter 1, thought you should know that. Anyway, enjoy.

**Chapter 2: Losing a father, gaining a Son**

They were supposed to be having a picnic together on the heath. Marian was stood alone waiting for him. She stood under the apple tree, they always met here, but he was late. Unbeknownst to Marian, Robin's father had died in the night, and he was not coming to see her. The young man that he had grown into had other important matters to attend to. Not, of course, that she wasn't important to him. He would truly be lost without her, but he had to mourn his father.

"My Lady." A small voice behind her caused Marian to turn around quickly, the dark brown curls that had been lying still on her back whipped around with her and hit her in the face obscuring her view momentarily.

"Much?" she was confused, she took a step towards him; "Where is Robin?" she asked, she had been annoyed that Robin had stood her up, now however she was worried by his absence.

She watched as Much seemed to sink slightly, she took a tentative step towards him; "His father." Much said simply.

Her hand flew to her mouth, Marian had of course been aware that Robin's father had been ill. Whatever it was that was wrong had to be serious indeed; "Is he?" Marian couldn't bring herself to say the words; 'dead'.

"He died last night." Much told her, she winced at the word, Much could plainly see that she shared Robin's grief as well as his own.

"I am, sorry." She whispered, there were no words, she didn't know what exactly she could say, there was nothing to say, she felt tears well up in her own eyes. She knew how close Robin was to his father this would hurt him deeply; "How is Robin coping?" she asked finally finding her voice.

Much looked up at her; "Barely." He whispered in response.

"Can I…?" she took a step towards him, Much nodded and turned away from her not even looking back to see her following him. They walked to Locksley in silence, Marian struggled to keep up with Much, his pace was quicker than hers and his legs longer. They arrived within minutes, he glanced at her as they stopped a small way away from the front door.

"He will be pleased to see you Marian." Much told her, he knew how much his master loved her, she smiled to herself and then looked to the floor. She took a step forward, she paused for a spilt second before she marched on forwards to the front door, which was open only slightly, she pushed it and stepped inside. She could hear him before she saw him. She turned to her right and saw him huddled in the corner, eyes streaming, he looked up at her.

"Marian." He whispered her name and got to his feet, she rushed to him and threw her arms around him, his head rested on her shoulder and she felt him crying.

She rubbed her hands up and down his back; "Robin, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She whispered, her voice wavered slightly. She pulled back to look into his eyes, they were downcast but she could tell that they were bloodshot, she made him look at her; "Robin," she whispered his name and his eyes moved to hers, they were so close now that she could feel his breath on her cheeks. He looked so vulnerable, he needed her, before she knew it she was closing her eyes and leaning in towards him, their lips met gently at first, a soft reassuring kiss, before she knew it his hands had moved to her hips, her hands ran through his hair, passion flowed through both of them as the kiss became filled with lust. She pulled away as the need for air overwhelmed her, she rested her forehead on his she smiled slightly.

"Thank you," he whispered as he moved forwards to kiss her again. This one was short and sweet, she broke away from him; "I, don't…" he paused and sighed; "…there's so much to plan, the funeral." He looked up at her.

"Let Thornton handle it," she ran a thumb along his cheek; "you need to get out of here." She whispered pulling away letting her hands reach for his. He was struggling, she could tell, she could see it in his eyes, he so wanted to walk away with her now, but he couldn't.

He sucked a breath in and looked at her; "I have responsibilities, I can't just leave them." He wanted to do something, anything, for his father. But he was gone, the sooner he accepted that the better for both him and Marian. She could feel his hands were shaking in hers and it worried her. She'd never seen looking so frightened or lost.

"Robin," she whispered his name in such a way that he knew he couldn't look into her eyes, the feeling he had heard in her voice was sure to be in those bright blue eyes as well, and he was sure that he would find it too hard to say to her.

"Marian, I can't." he said pulling her into his chest, just so he couldn't see into her eyes. He hand one arm around her body while the other cupped her cheek that was pressed against him.

Marian nodded against his chest; "Let me help you then." She whispered so that only he could hear her. He found himself smiling, he was glad that she was there for him.

A shuffling noise at the door caused Marian to pull away from Robin; "Master." Much was standing looking distinctly lost, Marian smiled sympathetically at Robin's manservant; "There is much to do." His voice sounded slightly strangled as if he were struggling to keep his own emotions at bay. Marian reached for his hand, she knew that he needed her more than he'd admit. Robin nodded and the tree of them went about arranging the funeral, he managed it, but wouldn't have without her. It was dark when Marian's father arrived, no one had thought to tell him, he stood talking to Thornton for some time their voices were hushed and Robin knew they were talking about him. Robin and Marian were sat on the hearth in front of the fire, his arms wrapped protectively around her, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Should I go and talk to him?" Robin's voice sounded to Marian as if it came from a long way away, she closed her eyes briefly knowing that sleep was trying to take over.

"Who?" she asked eyes still closed.

Robin shifted slightly; "Your father, he's been out there for some time, I…" Marian cut him off.

"He will come in when he is ready," she told him linking their fingers together; "you really must stop your worrying." She told him with a gentle prod. Robin knew that she was right, but he wouldn't admit it, he noticed Edward heading inside, he sat up slightly causing Marian to slip forwards; "oi." She protested in a very unladylike fashion.

"I came to give you my condolences," Edward said glancing at his daughter whose cheeks were tinged pink, Robin was now on his feet facing Edward his expression was serious; "Robin, I want you to know, that if you ever need something that you can come and ask me, you have been like a son to me all of these years." Robin was touched by Edward's kind words. His eyes drifted to Marian who was getting to her feet and dusting herself down. A thought then struck him; _Marian._

He looked back into Edward's eyes; "There is something you can do for me," he said taking Marian's hand, Marian was eyeing him suspiciously the look in his eyes told her that he was planning something, something that she would not like.

"Anything, name it." Edward insisted.

"I would like your daughter's hand in marriage." He said a small smile playing across his lips, Marian snatched her hand away from him.

Edward smiled; "Your father and I, said when you were younger that you'd be married, my blessing is yours." He told him, Robin grinned, but neither man had noticed the frown that adorned Marian's features.

"What?" she questioned taking a step away from both of them; "didn't you think it prudent to ask me first?" she asked glaring at Robin who made no attempt to respond knowing that she wasn't finished; "and surely I would have had some say in who I would marry? You made this choice before I was even born?!" her voice became more high pitched, tears had found their way to her eyes.

"Marian…" her father's voice was confused; "I thought you loved him…" he trailed off seeing his daughter's cheeks flush pink.

Robin's head shot up and he looked between the pair, the fourteen-year-old girl was almost in hysterics, he moved towards her almost forgetting that her father was still with them, he took her hands in his, she made no move to pull away; "Marian. I would not dream of forcing you to do anything that you didn't want to." His voice was soft and his voice reassuring. She nodded knowing that he meant it, every word. He brushed away her tears with his thumb. Her eyes sought the floor briefly as she realised that her father was still watching them.

"I will be proud to call you my son." Edward spoke breaking the tense silence, Robin tried to make eye contact with Marian but her eyes remained downcast as he took a step away from her. Edward looked over at Marian and added; "When you're ready." This last part was clearly directed to his daughter. Edward smiled at the pair, his smile towards his daughter looked almost forced, it was like he was disappointed in his daughter's strong and un-swaying will. Marian turned to follow her father but Robin stopped her with a strong hand on her arm.

"Marian, I do want to marry you." He told her, she smiled at him, her thick dark lashed hiding her beautiful blue eyes.

"And I you." She replied turning away before Robin had the chance to reply, the goofy grin that Much later found him with was all down to Marian. He had lost his father, but he knew how fond his father was of Marian, he would be pleased that Robin would marry her. Robin was willing to wait for her to be ready, even if that took years.

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A/N: -sings- she looooves him she looooves him. -cough- yes serious. Thank you all for your lovely reviews for chapter one, hope you enjoyed chapter two as much, more even. Review and tell me. No flames please, thank you. 


	3. Chapter 3: A mystery to him

**The third chapter. YAY rejoice, sorry that this took so very long, I've been a tad busy preparing for a Drama exam on Monday. Anyway, this has not been checked…I would love a beta, any volunteers? Anyway, here it is.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Robin Hood, oh I really wish I did though.**

**Chapter 3: A mystery to him. **

"ROBIN!" Marian's voice caused him to wince in such a way that Much could not help nor hide the smile that lit up his features.

"Yes my lady?" he turned to look at her, unable to hide a cunning, if not slightly cocky grin, his attempted innocent look totally lost on Marian, as he would tell her many years later that he believed that she could; _'see into his soul'_. Little did Robin know of this though.

"Don't play innocent with me!" she scolded grabbing the ear of the older boy, he yelped and tried to twist away from her only causing himself more pain; "You think that, you'll get away with this?!" her voice caused Much to wince this time. She surely was angry with him.

"What is it exactly that you are accusing my master of doing?" Much asked, his tone nothing if not polite, Marian however shot him her very best dirty look, Much shrank back; "You are on your own I am afraid master." Much told him smiling slightly. This incident was mere months after Robin had asked Marian's father for her hand in marriage, they fought like children and certainly not like lovers. She pushed him to the ground turning swiftly on her heels and marching back inside. Robin never would find out what she was angry about; "Master," Much helped Robin to his feet while Robin himself watched Marian's retreating form; "are you alright?" he asked helping Robin to dust himself down.

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They were inseparable, Marian and Robin would rarely be seen without one another, Much was usually not far behind. But it took Marian a whole year to be ready, or at least to say yes to him. The two of them had been sat on the hill looking over Locksley for about two hours before she could work up the nerve, Marian looked over at him uncertainly, Robin was sitting dangerously close to her; "Ask me again…" she whispered. Robin looked up at her, he wasn't sure what she was talking about.

"Ask you what again?" he asked his eyes flitted all over her face.

She blushed, and failed to hide the smile that reached her eyes; "You know, ask me…to," she paused; "ask me to marry you." Her eyes were now glued to her knees, not sure that she could look at him, the blush in her cheeks was growing once again leaving more than a rosy glow.

He was watching her almost too stunned to ask her; "You're sure?" he asked, she smiled at her knees and nodded, he licked his lips; "Marian, would you do me the honour of being my bride?" she looked up, tears glistening in her eyes, she nodded enthusiastically before throwing her arms around him. He laughed heartily holding her to him; "One question." He said as he pulled her away from him to look into her eyes; "why exactly did you refuse the first time?" he asked her, she smiled, knowing that he had been dying to ask her this for almost a year now.

"Pride." She told him simply as if that one word answer should have been enough for him. He was watching her, waiting for an added explanation.

"Pride?" he questioned, she nodded slowly; "I do not understand…" he told her still looking confused, she smiled, no amount of explanation would help him to understands the workings of her heart.

"Yes pride, you wouldn't understand." She told him getting to her feet and dusting off her dress, Marian blushed, she was to be married to her sweetheart; "So," she paused to pull him to his feet; "when shall we be married?" she asked him with a grin. She was fifteen years of age and very much in love with the young man who stood before her, he grinned and pulled her to him, he hugged her tightly and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Perfect moments of contemplation that made their love so pure.

"We will be married," he paused; "next spring." She grinned against his chest. But of course they wouldn't be, the King would get in the way, Robin would feel that he were not worthy of her love. Not worthy enough to be her husband. He would follow his king and he would break her heart. They were blissfully unaware of this of course; in their minds nothing would ever push or pull them apart.

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"I, am happy." Marian stated 3 days before her 16th birthday, she Robin and her Father had all sat down to eat when she made the statement, Robin had smiled at her over his cup, he knew what she was happy about, they would be married soon. They would be together he himself couldn't deny that he was _happy_ as well.

"I am pleased for you my dear, I am very proud of both of you." Edward told his daughter and soon-to-be son in law. Robin could feel a blush rising to his cheeks, he was sure that he didn't deserve the blessing of the Sheriff, or in fact the love that his daughter offered to him. Earl of Huntingdon, Lord of Locksley, he held such prestigious titles, yet he did not feel as though he deserved them. He had inherited all that he had, none of it gained of his own accord. Robin looked down at his plate and sighed heavily, would his father have been proud of him? Was this what he wanted of his son? Robin excused himself from the table and went outside, Marian followed him.

"Robin?" she was worried about him, he could tell it without even looking at her, he smiled to himself, she cared too much about him.

"Go back inside Marian, I fear I may not be very good company tonight." He told her, yet she did not move, he should have known better than to think that she would actually listen to him. Marian never listened to him.

She took a small step towards him and reached out for his hand that rested at his side; "What is wrong?" she asked him pulling his hand and forcing him to turn around to face her. She was not about to let him walk away from her, not without a fight. She was to be his bride and she loved him so very much, so much that it hurt, and there was something he wasn't telling her; "Tell me." She pressed.

His eyes were downcast; "Would my father be proud of me?" he asked her, she nodded before he had a chance to finish and he found himself smiling knowing she was only saying it because it was what he wanted to hear; "I mean, I am Lord of Locksley manner, Earl of Huntingdon, because I am his son, I have nothing to be proud of that I have done myself, Marian do you understand?" he asked her, she shook her head watching him sadly.

"He would be proud of you Robin, you the estate so very well, I am sure…" he cut her off pressing his forefinger to her lips.

"I run the estate, but what else have I got to show for myself? Nothing, I," he looked into her eyes, she was so beautiful, the confusion in her eyes made his heart flip, he couldn't tell her now, he would wait, after her birthday.

"You?" she prompted him to finish his sentence, but he wouldn't, she would have to wait until another day.

"It doesn't matter," he whispered drawing her into his body, she relaxed against his embrace; "I love you." It was whispered into her hair so quietly that she unfortunately didn't hear him, he pulled her away from his body and looked into her eyes and smiled, before leaning in towards her. Their lips met sooner than he had expected, the force of her kiss almost knocking him backwards, he remained as steady as possible as he kissed, relishing the feel of her pressed against him.

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A/N: There it is, they to be married. -sniff sniff- if only. You all know that the next chapter is going to be sad, I thought I should prepare you first. Anyhoo, reviews are lovely, no flames thanks. 


	4. Chapter 4: And how it hurts

This chapter really upsets me, even as I type. It's just too sad. A large part of me wants to write Robin not going to war.

Discalimer: I don't own Robin Hood, this is for my own amusment, and yours, enjoy.

**Chapter 4: And how it hurts.**

Marriage was creeping up on Robin. It loomed over him, mere weeks away. He made his decision to walk away, to prove something to her, when she didn't need him to prove anything at all. He wanted to do something that he was proud of that she would be proud of, something that he could tell his grandchildren. Would she ever forgive him though? Seeing how happy Marian was, it sent a dagger through his heart, every time he thought of what he was about to do to her. Knowing how much this would hurt her. He wasn't sure how to break the news.

"Much." Robin's voice was stern as he called his manservant to him, Much walked over eyeing him carefully trying to gauge his master's mood; "Much, I, I have decided something…" surely it shouldn't be this hard to say it, this was only Much after all.

Much looked worried; "What have you decided Master?" he asked.

Robin looked up at him, eyes hazy, he knew it was wrong; "I will follow the King to the Holy Land, I want to be a part of his Holy War." Much looked horrified, and was speechless probably for the first time in his life. Robin felt suddenly very guilty, he realised then that Much would want to go with him, or at least would feel obliged to; "Say something." Robin implored him.

Much closed his mouth and swallowed hard there was so much to say, and yet he couldn't find the words, there was a long pause; "Robin, what about Marian?" his first question stung like it had slapped Robin across the face. Marian. Marian would be heartbroken that he could be sure of, but Much wasn't finished; "I will go with you Master, if that is truly what you want to do." He told him.

"It is." Robin told his friend. Robin avoided the Marian question until it was asked again only a moment later.

"What about Marian? You are to be married…" Much left it open and Robin felt that pain in his chest again, that feeling of guilt, he knew it was wrong, knew that he shouldn't be leaving her, then why was he?

"I cannot," the pause was for lack of an explanation, there was no reason worth giving to Much for leaving her now; "I do not, think…" he stopped and Much looked up at him.

"You do not think?" Much felt that this was a statement in it's self; "Clearly you don't, for if you had the thought would never have crossed your mind."

Robin looked stunned; "I'm sorry if this upsets up old friend, you do not have to follow me." Much gave him a look and Robin sighed.

"You know I have to follow you Master." The last word was said with a bitter devotion, he would follow Robin to the ends of the earth and this scared both of them.

"How do I tell her Much?" he asked him, Robin looked desperate and Much felt pity for his Master; "I don't want to hurt her, I would never want to hurt her, but it seems as though I have no choice." Upon thinking back on this moment words would ring in his ears, words that Marian told him when he came back. _'Everything is a choice, everything we do.'_ It appeared his choice was to leave her.

"Master," Much sighed, he could see how much this decision was ripping his master up inside; "You must tell her, it would only serve to hurt her further if you neglect to tell her." Much was right; "I will go and fetch her, you must tell her now." Much made the decision and was away even before Robin had the chance to tell him not to go. Robin sighed looking out over Locksley, it was so calm, he could hear the birds singing in the trees over head. Robin moved outside so that he would be able to see Marian before she arrived, he paced back and forth several times before the sound of hooves caused him to look up, he plastered a fake smile over his lips, it did not reach his eyes and Marian must have seen as her first words were.

"What's wrong?" he felt his heart skip a beat, she knew that something was not right. She could see it in his eyes, a weak attempt at a smile would not throw her off the scent.

"We need to talk." His voice was cold, almost unfeeling Much frowned at his master, he knew that Robin cared, knew that Robin was hurting in side at the prospect of leaving her. Marian got down from her horse, her eyes never leaving him, she was worried about him, worried about what it was he needed to say to her, she knew it was serious.

"What is it love?" she asked him, trying so very hard to keep her voice level. She noticed though that when she said; 'love' he winced and closed his eyes, neither of them noticed Much slip silently away giving them time and space.

"I'm sorry," he whispered not being able to make eye contact with her, he just couldn't say it; "We can't," he paused and looked up at her; "I can't ma-marry you," he looked away as soon as he'd said it, he could feel her gaze burning into him, she needed a reason.

"A joke?" she asked, hoping that he would laugh at her for believing that he would ever do such a cruel thing to her, he shook his head slowly and before she knew it her hand had made contact with his cheek. He reeled backwards clutching his cheek, he knew he deserved it, knew he had more coming to him; "WHY?!" she demanded, her eyes were now full of such a rage that Robin suddenly feared for his life. She was very capable of causing him great physical harm. He took a step away from her a hand still cradling his now red cheek; "No," she grabbed his arm; "you will look me in the eyes and tell me why!" he felt tears welling up in his eyes, he felt so guilty, how could he possibly do this to her?

He looked at her, his eyes moved from her eyes to her lips, to her nose, they then roamed all over her face gauging her reaction fearing that she might punch him when he told her why; "I…I am going to follow the king, I'm going to fight in the holy lands…" her mouth hung open and concern coloured her features, Robin felt his heart melt, she loved him so much, he could see it in her eyes.

"So," she was now serious, the concern he had seen before was now gone; "you're going to get yourself kill instead of marrying me?" it was rhetorical question but Robin felt annoyed in her lack of faith in him.

"I will not get killed." He told her, bad move. She glared at him and he winced regretting speaking; "I am sorry." He told her, but sorry was hardly good enough for what he was doing to her.

Reality hit her, tears were now welling up in her eyes and she moved away from him, he reached out to her but she was out of his reach, Marian did not understand his motives, she could not see a reason for his actions.

"I know you do not understand," he whispered and she turned to look at him ready to give him a piece of her mind, but then she saw the agony in his eyes, she saw that this was hurting him almost as much as it was her.

The tears begin slipping down her cheeks; "How can I?" she asks him, her voice is so soft that he hardly hears her, she sighs heavily and shudders; "Is there anything I can say to dissuade you?" she faltered looking up into his eyes, he reached out a hand to cradle her cheek but she stepped away from him, she refused to let him avoid her questions. He shook his head and she had to suppress a sob, surely he could see how much this was killing her, he was breaking her heart.

"I do love you Marian." He told her.

Her eyes narrowed; "So you have said, but you have a funny way of showing it, surely if you loved me we would be able to get married and you would not be about to leave me!" her argument was strong and he could see it from her point of view she was right; "Why not marry me?" she asked him, and he knew what she was about to suggest.  
"And then go to war?" she nodded as he supplied the end of her sentence; "Because, the very thought of leaving you is ripping me apart inside, knowing that it is my fault you are crying right now gets me right here," he patted his heart, Marian wanted to reach out for him, and beg him not to go, but she knew he was not finished; "but it is my duty to follow my king, and I cannot leave you as my bride while I go and fight…it is better for us not to be married."

"And you would expect me to wait for you?" she asked.

She watched as he shook his head sadly; "I could and would never ask you to do that my lady. My love." He whispered the last two words before taking a step towards her, she was so very close to him now that he could feel her breath on his face, it was coming out in short ragged gasps, as if she had run a long way, he reached out and took her hand in his; "I will miss you more than I can say." He told her bringing her fingers to his lips, he kissed them gently, and she let him, she was aching just to touch him, aching to hold him, she didn't know when she'd have the chance again or if should ever would.

"And if you die?" she asks, her voice barely more than a whisper, she looks so scared now, Robin draws her to him and holds her against him, he knows that it isn't enough to quell her fears but for now being in his arms is enough. He doesn't tell her that he won't die, because he cannot promise such a thing. He cannot tell her he'll be back before she knows it, because he knows of many lords who have followed their king and not come back. She was sobbing against his chest and he knew that there was little point in attempting to console her. The only thing that would stop her tears would be him staying, and he couldn't. He simply could not.

"I leave in a week."

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A/N: Angst, angst, angst. Oh my what an angsty chapter. Not been checked yet so that's why there are mistakes if there are any. Sorry. Right anyway, I hope you liked that. I think there will be one more chapter- Marian saying goodbye and a little bit of the two of them during the war...yes? Yes. Right well reviews are always very nice. No flames thank you. 


	5. Chapter 5: Farewell and Never Forget

Here we are, the last chapter, I hope you're excited 'cause I know I am. I know this took a long time and I'm sorry but over Christmas I had a lot of Drama coursework to be doing and well it was a little bit important.

**Disclaimer: If owned the BBC's Robin Hood Marian would NEVER EVER have died. FACT! **

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**Chapter 5: Farewell and Never Forget.**

It would surely be the hardest thing he would ever have to do. But he would do it for king and country, saying goodbye would make him sob, it would be worse than when his father died.

"Are you ready?" the voice in the doorway startled him slightly.

"Marian." He spoke her name, and she knew in an instant that he wasn't ready, he would never be ready to leave her, but he was about to do just that, he turned and looked at her, her eyes were red and puffy, he was at her side in an instant, guilt swelled up inside him, he knew that the reason her eyes were so red was because of him; "I wish," he whispered taking her hand in his and placing it against his heart; "I…I wish I could promise you that I'll be back before you know it. But in truth I do not know if I will ever return, and in all honesty Marian it is tearing me up inside, as I know it is you." Her eyes were now down cast, as she could no longer look at him. It hurt too much. Robin wanted to say sorry, wanted to say so many things to her that all amounted to; 'I love you.' But the words refused to form he'd done little to nothing to quell Marian's fears and he knew that this was hurting her. Much appeared in the doorway and Robin sighed and waved him away he needed another minute, needed more time to say goodbye. Much shook his head, there was none. They had to go, he had to leave her; "Marian," she shook her head, she wouldn't let him say it, what ever it was he was about to say, she couldn't hear it, couldn't let him have the last words.

"Don't," she whispered, he went to speak again but she placed a finger over his lips; "I can't let you," she whispered he could now see the fresh tears welling up in her eyes, he wondered if she could see him through her tears as it seemed they were refusing to fall. He moved forwards and pressed a kiss against her cheek he could feel her trembling and wasn't sure if he could stand it much longer, he had been satisfied when she had been shouting at him, but the acceptance that was what really hurt him, because not even he had quite accepted that he was leaving just yet.

"I'll never forget you." He mumbled as he walked past her, it was at this that he watched as her shoulders shook and her body seemed to fold in on itself, her breathing was suddenly ragged and he knew that she was crying. He was sorry that he couldn't take her into his arms and make it all right, he slipped away from her and out of the door to where Much was waiting for him with their horses; "She hates me Much." Robin confided in his manservant.

"I am sure that you are mistaken Master, she loves you." Much said trying to reassure his Master, but the look in Robin's eyes as he mounted his horse told Much that he hadn't been successful. The journey to the Holy land was the longest one of Robin's life, all the while he was thinking about Marian, thinking of how much he had hurt her and how he wished he could take it all back. The days and nights on that ship seemed to stretch out endlessly before him, he saw no end to his personal torment. Robin sighed heavily looking out at the endless sea, his thoughts drifting back to her, back to how broken she had been when he left her. "There it is Master." Much had never been so quiet as the journey had worn on he had decided that it would be more sensible to leave his Master to his thoughts rather that disturb him, Much watched as Robin's eyes surveyed the outline of the land that they were approaching, it looked barren and dry, the hot sun was already beating on their backs burning their necks. _Destiny_ was waiting for them out there.

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The war was worse than Robin would have ever imagined and it was sure to scar him for life, the images of death the screams of men dying would haunt him in his waking moments as well as when he was asleep. Only when he thought of her was he at peace. Only Marian would bring a smile to his face, Much knew better than to talk about her because the pain that he could see in his Master's eyes was all because of her.

"Master the food is getting cold." Much called to Robin was sitting at the edge of the tent looking out onto the sandbanks and beyond. His mind was far away and Much was hardly about to bring him back. He called him twice more before giving up knowing that Robin was beyond his reach.

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When winter came she was cold, colder than she'd ever been and nursing a broken heart. She felt that her pain knew no bounds. She would not eat and grew ill, her father knew why and was worried for her life.

"Miss you must eat." Her maid Sarah insisted her tone was urgent but Marian just pulled her covers over her head and turned away from her, she didn't care if she got sick, she wanted to die. It was better than living without him. So much better than not knowing if she would ever see him again. It was a week before Marian became too weak to protest when Sarah fed her, the medicine was bitter and stung her throat but she swallowed it down and got her strength back. She missed him more and more as the days past but one day in March when Sarah didn't come to force feed her the medicine she became worried and realised that just because Robin wasn't there the world hadn't stopped moving, she went to visit Sarah who lived in Nottingham with her daughter Jess, she discovered that she was not the only person to be ill and gave Jess her medicine. It gave her such a wonderful feeling that she knew she wouldn't stop there. Just seeing the look on Sarah's face as she realised how much Marian actually cared had been enough to convince her that she had to do something.

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After the first 40 kills Robin got used to the screams, they became background noise as he went about his business, and it was his business to kill. Much however did not take to it as well as Robin did, he couldn't block out the screams and pleas for help, he couldn't keep the demons at bay at night. Much was jealous of his Master's ability to keep going. But Robin had something, someone to keep fighting _for_. He had Marian, and for all of those years he would keep telling himself that he would see her soon that any day now the war would be over and the King would send him home. As the weeks turned slowly into months and the months into years Robin's ability to 'keep going' almost failed him four years into his service.

"I can't do this anymore!" he whispered one night into the darkness, Robin thought that Much had been asleep and was surprised when he replied.

"Why don't we go home then? You can go back to Locksley with Marian and I can have Bonchurch!" Robin's head sunk lower as Much said her name.

"She won't have waited this long Much, she was a beautiful…she probably still is a beautiful young girl when I left her, she is bound to have had many suitors while we've been away, she'll have settled down, she'll have a family by now." Robin's tone was dull, he didn't want to believe what he was saying but it was very likely that he was right. He wasn't though.

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"What was wrong with this one?" her father's voice was reprimanding but Marian didn't care, she didn't want a husband, she was happy enough with her father, if she couldn't have the man she'd said yes to all those years ago she wouldn't have any.

"He didn't take kindly to my horse." Marian couldn't help but smirk slightly as she recalled the man tumbling backwards off the back of her white stallion, her father sighed but did not press the matter further, he'd had enough, Marian was 20 years old now, old enough by far to make her own choices, and it seemed as though she had chosen not to marry at all. She had decided that she wasn't waiting for him, she hated him now. Hated that he had caused her so much pain, hated herself for mourning him as though he were dead. She refused to cry for him anymore, tried not to think of him, but moments of weakness meant that his face would appear in her mind and she would long for him. She would tell herself that she was being childish, becoming the Nightwatchman was her escape, it was how she forgot about him, how she helped the poor saved England one person at a time. She was sure that he would be proud of her if he knew. Not that she cared if he didn't. Right?!

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The attack caught him off guard, he had no clue how they got through, or at least how one of them stabbed him, he didn't even know it had happened until he realised that the King's voice seemed to be coming from far away. He was asking him if he was; 'ok?' Robin remembered the sword slipping through his fingers onto the sand, remembered people shouting the sounds coming from far away, then he remembered pain, excruciating pain shooting through his left side, he remembered Much telling him it would be fine, and then he remembered her. He saw her in the darkness and he thought that he was dead, because surely the only place that he would see her was in heaven. She was beautiful, she was the same girl he'd left five years ago and she was with him. As the fever gripped him he called out to her, each time he said her name Much winced, he had thought that his Master had forgotten about her, left all memories of her behind, but his dreams, his dreams in a fit of delirium betrayed the fact that he had kept his promise to her, his promise that he would never forget her. It was upon this realisation that Much wept _for_ his Master, wept thinking that his Master would never be happy, not without her. He wept _knowing_ that Robin had taken five years of his life away and Much would never get that time back, he wept _for_ Marian, that poor girl who's heart his Master had broken in search of glory. That poor little girl who has surely moved on. Who had surely found a life with out Robin? Surely?!

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A/N: Did you enjoy that? Reviews are very very nice, no flames thank you. 

**Ooook big news that you should all jump for joy at, I'm now going to do some shameless promotion. Ok basically, I have started writing a Doctor Who Robin Hood xover and well I think you will enjoy it. I know you will. So if you would do me the honour of checking it out I would love you forever. It's called; **

**The Stuff Of Legend.**

**Doctor Who fans will see what I did there. Please take a look at it, I'm rather proud of it myself. **


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